Join The Crazy Creatures Down In The Farm In This Hilarious Musical Comedy That's A Real Pig Of A Tale!
Description Synopsis Casting Sample Script Reviews

OINK! is based upon the well known tale of The Three Little Pigs, but you can be sure you have never heard this version before!

When little Frank Trotter and his big, greedy brothers Monty & Welly are caught stealing the harvest feast, they are banished from the farmyard and sent out into the big wide world. At the same moment, infamous carnivore BB Wolf is being released from prison, apparently cured of his granny-eating ways by a mad professor. Unfortunately, his vegetarian days are short lived and BB is soon on the prowl for a sausage sandwich! This hilarious take on the well known story is full of wonderful characters, superb songs and loads of laughs, making it a sure hit for performers and audience alike. With parts for between 26 and 50 children, plus unlimited chorus opportunities, this show will suit any size school or group. A CD featuring dazzling fully orchestrated backing tracks with AND without vocals is available for rehearsals and performances.

The play opens on the Farmyard and Percy the Pigeon and the chorus begin the fun singing "Cock-a-doodle-doo". After a lively opening, the audience are introduced to the farmyard creatures, and there's something for everyone. If an agoraphobic donkey doesn't tickle your fancy then there's a French rabbit with his hot cross bunny of a wife and pigs that run wild! As everyone meets and greets one another, talk turns to the approaching Harvest festival and "Pig Swill" is a song dedicated to the farmyard speciality; it may sound disgusting, but even Shep the Sheepdog is tempted.

After a lively opening, things don't calm down on stage just yet as the following scene sees the animals leaving the cocktail bar, with Roger the Rabbit a little worse for wear! As the night begins to quieten down, the three piglet brothers, Frank, Welly and Monty are left alone. Frank has his head firmly on his shoulders and attempts to persuade his brothers to go home, but only receives grunts and snorts in return; "Nobody" follows and Frank reflects on how alone he feels at the farmyard. Never ones to listen to reason, Welly and Monty not only ignore their brother's wise words to head home, but their attention turns to the Harvest Feast which is out in preparation for the festival and you can surely guess what the two hungry piglets decide to do...steal it! But they don't get very far as Shep the Sheepdog catches them in the act and banishes them, along with Frank from the farmyard.

The following scene is more light hearted as the Big Bad Wolf, (who, don't worry, is safe in prison) experiences new scientific technology as the Professor attempts to turn him into a vegetarian. Although Officer McKenzie is doubtful of its successes, the Wolf appears to pass the test and is released back into the countryside, much to the delight of Melton and Mowbray - two rats who were his former sidekicks. However, they fail to hide their surprise when the BB Wolf announces he wants to open a vegetarian restaurant!

During 'Home Sweet Home' the three pigs build their homes and reflect on their time at the countryside. Unfortunately, they are not aware that during the wolf's treatment in prison, the Professor failed to immunise the wolf against pigs, so they are not as safe as they believe.

As Wolf prepares for the opening of his new restaurant, Mowbray the rat fleetingly mentions pigs and unfortunately for Frank, Welly and Monty, BB Wolf becomes fixated on the idea of catching some for a Hog Roast, although he still insists that he's still a changed wolf in "I'm Not As Bad As They Paint Me". After discovering that the Harvest Festival is about to begin and this is where the ingredients for the hog roast will be, BB Wolf and his two sidekicks make haste.

"Come To The Funfair" opens the festivities, but unfortunately Welly and Monty are taken in by the Wolf's eating competition, during which he lures the two piglets into his care. Luckily, Frank who is nearby has his wits about him and recognises the Wolf's face from a "Wanted" poster. Conjuring up a plan of action he successfully captures Melton and Mowbray with the help of others, but the Wolf still gets away! To make matters worse, the Wolf doesn't get very far before he hears the whereabouts of the piglets' new homes and decides to pay them a surprise visit! The traditional fairy tale story follows as BB Wolf attempts to blow the three houses down, but be warned, there is a contemporary twist! Like all good musicals, there is a happy ending, as Frank's brick house survives the wolf's tactics and BB Wolf is caught successfully, in a pile of Pig Swill! A reprise of "Pig Swill" ends this animated musical.

In the following list, the number shows how many spoken lines each role has. An asterisk (*) before the character's name indicates that this character ALSO has solo or featured sung lines.

Character Name Number of Lines
* BB Wolf 78
* Percy the Post Pigeon 57
Mowbray Rat 52
* Frank Trotter 45
Mrs Shirley Trotter 40
Professor Fruitenut 39
Horace the Horse 35
Mr Jinx 34
* Montgomery Trotter 31
* Wellington Trotter 30
Melton Rat 29
Officer McKenzie 29
Nurse Nightly 28
Shep the Sheepdog 24
Rene the Rooster 22
Derek the Donkey 18
Marigold Moo 18
Daisy Moo 17
Roger Rabbit 17
Maisy Moo 14
Rosy Rabbit 14
Lavinia Lamb 6
Lofty Lamb 6
Lotty Lamb 6
Phips The Ringmaster 6
Larry Lamb 5
Lenny Lamb 5
Lulu Lamb 5
Fifi Hen 4
Mimi Hen 4
Suzette Hen 3
Gabrielle Hen 2
Yvette Hen 2
Alfonso the Acrobat 1
Alfredo the Acrobat 1
Bernadette the Bearded Lady 1
Bobo the Clown 1
Butch Bison the Strongman 1
Dodo the Clown 1
Mystic Molly 1

 

Click below to read extracts from the Script or Piano Vocal Score:

Oink Sample Script

Oink Sample Score

 

Please note that an Easy Play Score is also available.

*These PDF files require a PDF reader such as Adobe Acrobat.

5 Star Rating

"The best performance ever by the children. Parents and other schools thought it was so funny and the acting was brilliant, especially Rene the French rooster. The children were really sad to see it end. We performed in the Opera House in Hastings and were given a standing ovation not just by the audience but by the opera house as the best scipt, songs and performance ever by a school. It was awesome and so easy to do, can't wait to do it again in a few years time"

Mrs Geraldine Sumner, St. Joseph's School, Hastings, New Zealand.


5 Star Rating

"Performed this with 90 KS2 children ... superb and lots of fun!"

Leslie Lacey, St James CE Primary School, Chorley


5 Star Rating

"One of the most enjoyable pieces I have ever directed! Kept us laughing right up until the dress rehearsal - RARE!"

Clare-Louise Edwards, ACTIVATE Performing Arts


5 Star Rating

"Oink! is yet another amazing musical by Craig Hawes. He cleverly wove the story of the Three Little Pigs into a full act musical. Again, the script was hilarious. There is plenty of room to involve the entire elementary group in this musical. My students were singing the songs long past the performance date of our musical. I highly recommend this musical."

M. O'Neill, Nelson School, Miramichi NB Canada


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