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Journey back to the dawn of time in this prehistorical hysterical stone age rock musical!
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Journey back to the dawn of time in "Rock Bottom" - Craig Hawes' brand new prehistorical hysterical Stone Age rock musical!

Meet The Cobblestones, just an ordinary Stone Age family of cave folk living on Stoney Street, Rock Bottom! But when cave boy inventor Bobby Cobblestone hatches his very first good idea, he's whisked off to work for none other than the beautiful celebrity Lady Lava! Unfortunately, BC is soon up to his neanderthal neck in trouble when he discovers his new boss hides a dark secret that will rock Rock Bottom to its foundations. With mysterious monsters terrorising the town and a volatile volcano ready to blow its top, can BC become a little boulder and hatch a plan to save his family, his friends and his very own precious Rock Bottom? Only time will tell...

A cast of crazy cave folk join in the neolithic naughtiness, not to mention a flock of prehistoric birds, two dippy dinosaurs, a vacuum-cleaning mammoth and a sabre-tooth tiger called Tiddles! With eight toe-tapping songs to get you rocking like a rolling stone and a puntastic script as sharp as a flint, one thing's for sure - the Stone Age rocks!


The curtain rises on an atmospheric, abstract scene as the three narrating Timekeepers, Crater, Crevice and Creek, introduce modern-day planet Earth, its population increasing with every tick of the clock. They pose the age-old question of human origins and proceed to take us on a journey back to the dawn of time as all sing the exciting and energetic opening number, "Back To The Beginning".

Scene 1

The song ends explosively as we crash land in the Stone Age town of Rock Bottom and meet Cliff and Coral Cobblestone, two elderly residents on Stoney Street, Rock Bottom. Their grandson and our hero, young would-be inventor Bobby Cobblestone (BC to his friends) enters and hatches yet another idea for yet another useless invention. As he hurries away to work on it, we meet his greedy twin siblings, Zig and Zag, who have yet to evolve and are known as Growlers. They have gathered enormous sausages and a giant egg for breakfast. Rocky Rockefeller, Chair of the Residents Association, enters with his group of Growlers and we learn that today is the Feast Of Krakatoe-or-two, when Caveys make offerings to the great volcano to stop her blowing her top. Rocky and his Growlers are on the hunt for food for the feast, but when Rocky commandeers the giant egg, Cliff and Coral are left stony-faced. We meet Morris Miner and his gang of Mini Miners en-route to the volcano, before BC returns excitedly with his new and rather ridiculous invention. Cliff and Coral are naturally unimpressed and remind BC of his past failures, but BC explains his dream to become an Egghead and work for the local celebrity Lady Lava. Through a split scene we discover that Lady Lava may not be the kind, considerate boss that BC imagines. However, BC is overcome with excitement to hear that Lady Lava will be coming to Rock Bottom that very day!

Scene 2

The Timekeepers are joined by the chorus in the swinging rock song "Rock Bottom Rocks - Part 1" where we learn more about the Feast Of Krakatoe-or-two. We meet the three Juans, a trio of silly stone salesmen who attempt to peddle their wacky wares to the local Caveys. They are quickly chased out of town as the Caveys sing "Rock Bottom Rocks - Part 2", then Rocky Rockefeller holds a disastrous dinosaur drill to prepare his townsfolk for possible attack. A big blue dinosaur appears right on cue, fortunately unseen by Rocky or the Caveys. When BC asks Rocky to be introduced to Lady Lava, Rocky bans him and the terrible twins from the feast and it is down to Cliff and Coral to stop BC being blue. They are joined by the chorus and all sing "Smile".

Lady Lava, accompanied by her sabre-tooth tiger Tiddles, makes a grand entrance at the feast, announced by her grovelling servant, Gravel. However, when the feast is finally revealed we discover most of the food has been gobbled by Zig and Zag, and only the giant egg remains. Lady Lava erupts in rage and storms off as a volcanic rumble sends the Caveys running scared, leaving just the giant egg alone on the stage. BC arrives to hear a small, mysterious voice coming from the egg, and decides to whisk it to Wild Willie, the local naturist and wildlife egg-spurt.

Scene 3

We meet Wild Willie and his yolk-cracking feathery friends, and soon the mystery egg hatches to reveal Rex, a baby dinosaur. BC and Willie explain to him that he is lost in time but promise to be his friends, and all sing the fun, uplifting song "Welcome To My Life".

Scene 4

The Timekeepers take us to Lady Lava's Crystal Crevice, deep in the depths of the volcano Krakatoe-or-two, where we find Gravel busily vacuuming with the trunk of Dyson the wooly mammoth. Lady Lava and Tiddles enter and we discover that the beautiful celebrity is actually a wrinkled old hag, kept young through the power of a magical rock called Cellulite. Her team of imprisoned Eggheads have harnessed its power within a Time-Turner that reverses time and rejuvenates their ageing boss, but they warn her that she is using it too much. It has caused a rift in time and strange objects from the past and future are arriving in Rock Bottom. The three Juans arrive seeking work and Lady Lava instructs them to find and collect these objects from the town. Morris Miner and his gang of Mini Miners enter and are directed to dig down deep into the volcano to extract more cellulite, and they are happy to oblige as all sing the faintly familiar mining song "Down Low".

Scene 5

Back on Stoney Street, Cliff assists Coral with the laundry as BC introduces them to his new friends, Willie and Rex. Inspired by the creased washing, BC hatches a new idea and comes up with his first ever useful invention. Gravel whisks BC away to become Lady Lava's new Egghead, and all celebrate his new-found success with the song "Rock Bottom Rocks - Part 3". The Caveys of Rock Bottom discover a multitude of mysterious futuristic objects and turn to Rocky Rockefeller for guidance. Meanwhile, the three Juans comically undertake their task to collect the objects, but their hunt comes to an abrupt end when they come face to ferocious face with the big blue dinosaur.

Scene 6

Back in the volcano Krakatoe-or-two, Gravel returns to Lady Lava's Crystal Crevice with BC following his success. But BC is baffled, boggled and bamboozled to learn that his favourite celebrity is actually an evil sorceress who only wants him for one thing - to invent a way to make her young forever. The Eggheads explain his task, but BC is out of ideas and ready to throw in the towel. Despondent, he sings the melancholy and moving "Welcome To My Life Reprise". The Eggheads return and persuade our hero to persevere, reminding him that failure is part of the process, and all sing "Start All Over Again". At the end of the song, BC finally hatches an idea to save the day.

Scene 7

We find ourselves in Lady Lava's Loathsome Laval Labyrinth, where the Caveys of Rock Bottom have broken in to escape the pursuing dinosaur and rumbling volcano. The Juans meet Lady Lava who informs them that BC and the Eggheads have escaped and instructs the terrible trio to dump the objects and flush out the intruders. They, along with a series of other characters, each in turn find themselves getting laughably lost in the Labyrinth and chased by the determined dinosaur.

Scene 8

All but BC eventually end up in Lady Lava's Crystal Crevice, where the evil celebrity has brewed a magical potion for her guests. Before BC can warn them, they all drink and fall under Lava's spell. Lady Lava then attempts to persuade BC to sip her potion and all sing "Spell On You". At the end of the song, BC reluctantly reveals his invention - a cocktail of liquid cellulite which Lava gulps greedily. The rejuvenating effects are instant but a little more potent than she expects, however, and she transforms into a newborn baby. BC gives Gravel custardy of little Lava, the spell breaks and all celebrate BC's success, including his newly evolved siblings, Zig and Zag. When Rex the baby dinosaur is finally reunited with his long lost mother, our tale reaches its happy ending and all sing "Back To The Beginning Reprise". Following the company bows, all sing "Rock Bottom Rocks Reprise" bringing the musical to a joyful conclusion.


Click below to read extracts from the Script or Piano Vocal Score:

Rock Bottom Sample Script

Rock Bottom Sample Score


*These PDF files require a PDF reader such as Adobe Acrobat.

5 Star Rating

Rock Bottom

"We performed this hilarious production with all our KS2 children and it was a huge success! We split the show into two halves with an interval, which worked perfectly. Children and adults loved the humour and the Stone Age theme, and the songs are just superb! Rock Bottom really rocks!"

Pete Delafield, St. Luke's Primary, Shireoaks

5 Star Rating

Rock Bottom

"Our Year 5s had a blast with this show. Such a clever, funny, fast-moving script, brilliantly catchy songs and so easy to costume! Great fun from beginning to end - I think this is my new favourite Craig Hawes show!"

Jessica Chambers, Sparken Hill Academy, Worksop

5 Star Rating

Rock Bottom

"You'd be mad not to buy this - yet another hilarious hit from Craig Hawes. It's a laugh-a-minute show, with jokes for all ages strewn in cleverly along the way. The songs are catchy and easy to pick up; you'll be singing them for weeks afterwards! Our Year 3 & 4 children had a fantastic time rehearsing and performing this super show and they (and their audiences) will remember it for years to come. Fred Flinstone eat your heart out!"

Laura Mitchell, Oak Farm Junior School, Hillingdon

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